The REAL MVP of our menstrual cycle: the luteal phase. You know, that delightful time right before your period when you’re filled with an overwhelming sense of… everything. It’s like someone flipped the switch and suddenly you’re questioning your life choices. Tearing up at dog food commercials. Or you’re ready to burn your business to the ground because: “maybe I’m not cut out for this”. 

Oh wait, what about this when you’re around your significant other? Pick one ((or all of them)) below. 

You find yourself being:

It’s a never ending unpredictable carousel.

If you’re nodding along, keep reading…

Grab a snack, kick back and let’s dive into the chaotic world of the luteal phase. 

I am turning 40 in 3 months. Hello peri-menopause. And my periods are like trying to predict the behavior of a toddler in a candy store. Completely unpredictable and all over the place. 

One minute it’s there, showing up right on schedule, like their carrying around a personal calendar in their back pocket. And the next, it has ghosted me like my asshole boyfriend did in 2005, without warning. Leaving me wondering if I imagined the whole thing. 

Or it’s like that one unreliable friend who texts they’re definitely coming out for drinks on a Friday night. But either shows up 3 hours late or brings extra friends (hello heavy flow). Or, the best one, doesn’t come at all because they couldn’t get off the couch. This is me, by the way.

It’s wild. It’s a random ride with zero respect for the plans you thought you had.

Your luteal phase starts right after you ovulate and lasts about 11-14 days right before you start your period. 

This is the cycle below:

So, basically: after you’ve ovulated (congrats on that, by the way—egg released, mission accomplished!), your body slips into the luteal phase. Think of this as your body’s version of “we did it. Now let’s see if we need to build a baby factory or just prep for a uterine clean-up.” This is when your ovaries start cranking up the progesterone. The special hormone that’s all about preparing your womb in case there’s a bun in the oven.

Progesterone is like your hormonal hype-woman, trying to keep things calm and cozy. But and that’s a big but). When it doesn’t get the memo that there’s no baby on board, it starts to throw a tantrum. Cue bloating, mood swings, and the classic cravings for foods you swore you’d quit last month. It’s like your body’s staging a one-woman protest because it’s upset about the lack of fertilization.

Meanwhile, estrogen—our other hormonal player—has been taking a backseat, but it’s not happy about it. So, it pops in occasionally. Just to mess with things a bit, like a chaotic ex who just can’t resist making a scene. Between the rise and fall of progesterone and estrogen, your emotions are on a hormonal seesaw. Flipping between “I love everyone” and “Everyone needs to get out of my face.”

Suddenly I’m baking cupcakes on a Tuesday afternoon “because the kids would love these after school”. Meanwhile I’m licking the mixing bowl. 

Or that time I was dipping beef jerky into caramel. What was I doing?

You gotta roll with it. I started pre-planning some of my fav foods ahead of time. I try to make healthier things so when the bloating starts I don’t feel like a busted can of biscuits. 

Speaking of bloating, that’s my next point.

Bring out the over-sized sweatpants, elastic waist everything and yoga pants. Seriously, does anyone else feel like their clothes are conspiring against them during this time? Everything is tight, and no, it’s not because of all the snacks (okay, maybe a little). It’s just another lovely luteal phase perk.

But hey, if your pants don’t want to cooperate, that’s what stretchy pants are for. Throw on something comfy and sip some hot tea. Tell yourself it’s just your body’s way of reminding you that you’re, like, really fertile or something.

What about the brain fog chronicles? 

My kids will literally tell me “mom you’re acting really dumb”. And my husband will call me “ridiculous”. But add: “I love that about you”. 

You ever walk into a room and immediately forget why you’re there? Or maybe you’re staring blankly at your computer screen? Wondering if you’ve always been this useless or if it’s just today. That’s the luteal phase brain fog doing its thing. It’s like someone turned your mental capacity down to “dial-up internet speed,” and now you’re buffering through life.

Honestly, it’s impressive how you can simultaneously feel overwhelmed by everything and nothing. It’s like your brain just decided to take a mini-vacation without giving you the heads-up. So, cut yourself some slack. Make a to-do list (and then promptly forget where you put it). And remember that you’ll be back to your sharp, witty self soon enough.

When Self-Doubt Hits Harder Than Ever

Ah, yes, the luteal phase’s pièce de résistance: self-doubt. If there’s one thing this phase loves, it’s making you question every single decision you’ve ever made. Career? Not good enough. Relationship? Could be better. Your new haircut? Definitely a mistake. It’s like an endless reel of “You’re Doing It Wrong” playing on repeat.

But here’s the truth: you’re doing just fine. Sure, maybe you’re a little moodier than usual. And yes, the state of your kitchen right now could be classified as “disaster zone.” But you’re human, and this too is part of the deal. Remember, all those nagging doubts? They’re just a hormonal side-effect, not an accurate representation of your worth. So take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you’ve survived 100% of your bad days so far, and keep on keeping on.

And Sleep? Never Heard of Her

If only getting a good night’s sleep during your luteal phase was as easy as…

Well, everything else isn’t easy right now. So scratch that analogy. But really, why is sleep so elusive? And sweaty? You’re exhausted. Your bed is calling your name and yet your brain is replaying every awkward moment you’ve had since high school.

So, you toss and turn. You rearrange pillows like you’re conducting an intricate ballet, trying to find that sweet spot where peace and sleep meet. You WANT to cuddle your partner, but it makes you sweat. “Touching feet is okay tho”. But hey, if you’re not getting peaceful and comfortable , at least you’ve perfected your 2 a.m. mental breakdown routine. Gold star for effort!

Drink hot decaf tea at night, take some magnesium (glycinate, NOT citrate) and try to reduce phone usage an hour before lights out. You can read about my nighttime self care routine here. 

Just embrace the mess…

Look, the luteal phase can be a lot. It’s a whirlwind of emotions, cravings, bloating, and self-doubt. But you know what? You’re not alone. Every woman going through it during her 30s and 40s (on the brink of perimenopause) is navigating this rollercoaster alongside you. Even if we don’t talk about it enough. It’s okay to feel like you’re a little bit of a hot mess right now, because guess what? We all are.

And as we edge closer to peri-menopause, these moments of chaos might just become a little more familiar. But if you can survive the luteal phase, you can handle anything. So, throw on those stretchy pants. Your ass looks great in them anyway. Keep a stash of your favorite snacks near. And remember that you’re doing your best—even when your hormones are trying to convince you otherwise.

And let’s not forget:

The luteal phase isn’t all doom, gloom, and stretchy pants. There are actually some upsides to this roller coaster, believe it or not! Let’s flip the script and see what’s good about this wild ride, shall we?

First off, let’s talk productivity. Those fluctuating hormones might be messing with your mood, but guess what? They can also turn you into a to-do list powerhouse. It’s like your inner project manager steps up and says: “Okay, let’s get this shit done before we fall apart next week“. So, if you’ve been procrastinating on organizing your closet or finally starting that side hustle, now’s the time. Lean into that slightly frantic energy and tick some boxes off. Future you will be grateful when the next phase hits. When all you want to do is binge-watch Netflix with a tub of ice cream.

Then there’s the introspection…

Sure, you’re probably more emotional right now, but that just means you’re more in touch with your feelings. You’ve got a front-row seat to your inner world. And while it might be a bit of a drama fest, it’s also the perfect time to reflect on what’s working in your life and what’s not. Need to cut toxic people out? Thinking of finally setting boundaries? This is the time to get real with yourself. Think of it as your personal board meeting with all your thoughts and emotions, chaired by none other than you. Start a journal. Jot down things for 5 minutes a day. Brain dump. Let it all flow. It’s ok if you’re a bit unhinged.

Plus, the luteal phase is basically your body’s way of saying, “Hey, you’ve done enough. It’s okay to slow down and take care of yourself“. It’s like a built-in permission slip to be a little selfish. Take that nap, skip the gym, or say no to that extra project at work. Your body’s practically begging you to pamper it, so go ahead and give yourself some TLC. You deserve it, damn it!

Oh! And this….

With all that introspection, you’re perfectly poised to get yourself prepped for the next phase—menstruation, aka, the ultimate reset button. Use this time to think about what you want to leave behind. Maybe it’s old habits, that clutter you’ve been ignoring. Or the fact that you’re still holding on to those bootcut jeans from college. But if I’m being honest, I’m not letting them go. The luteal phase is your warm-up act before the big, clean slate that is your period.

So yeah, while the luteal phase might feel like emotional whiplash, it’s also full of hidden gems. You’ve got this! The next phase is all about fresh starts and a whole lot of self love. And you’ll be ready for it with a clearer mind. A cleaner closet and maybe even a slightly better attitude—because hey, progress, not perfection, right?

So what’s next?

Stick around, because we’re in this together. From the ups and downs of hormone-fueled emotions. To finding your footing when it feels like the ground is shifting. This journey is all about embracing your beautiful, messy self. And let’s be honest. Who doesn’t need a little more relatability and real talk as we navigate this next phase of life? Keep following along, and let’s laugh, cry, and snack our way through it. 

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